Define “Normal”

The Bipolar Experience. I have lived my life with this illness. Even before I knew it was there it lurked within my brain. My journey has never been a walk in the park—not by any means—but God created me and my mind. Since He has NEVER made even the first mistake, this is fine by me!

I’ve described some of my symptoms:  acute depression, my brain can’t focus (so annoying), acute obsessive compulsive disorders, paranoia, fear of any sickness, agitation, impulsive anger … With a list like that, I’m just thankful they don’t all hit at one time! Yet they are each always present in my mind … we travel together.

Many times, even recently, I’ve told Dr. Barrier that my quality of life makes it not worth living. Often, I’m just ready to go to sleep, get real peace, never hurt again. I’ve been hospitalized on suicide watch more than once.

But now, God is working through my blog! And as much therapy as it provides me, my true wish is that it will help others …

A friend called me Monday morning. We were both models with the prestigious Ford Models. She, too, is bipolar. She shared her story with me; it broke my heart. What saddened me the most was the complete isolation she feels. The scrutiny, being treated differently by “friends” … all feelings I know too well.

With all my symptoms, the very LAST thing I or any other person afflicted with mental illness needs is shame. The negative stigma we face is unwarranted.

My first paragraph began with God … His perfection … His creation …

Let us give thanks for all the blessings we have. Let us embrace those who endure various illnesses. Let us toss any negative stigmas right where they belong: in the circular file … the garbage can!  J

Are you down with that?

Until next time …


4 thoughts on “Define “Normal”

  1. Eva Marie Everson says:

    LeeAnn: God created you and has guided you all the way. He knew you when you were in your mother’s womb and knew the woman you would become. Praising God for you. Now I want you to remember this: Greater is HE who is in YOU than HE who is in the WORLD. Let God, Creator, be God, Healer as well. Let HIS PEACE fall over you, blanket you with LOVE each and every time those negative feelings try to sneak in to your beautiful mind.

    I love you!


    1. leeannjefferies says:

      What a reply. I read it to Ken … all he could say was “WOW”! Your comments seemed to sink in a little deeper … things I had not even thought about.
      Thank you, very much …

      I Love You,
      Lee Ann

  2. Sherri Myers says:

    My husband is bipolar, the bad kind, not the I love to shop and talk too fast bipolar. He has recently been found to also have lyme disease and two co infections called babesia and bartonella. What you said about your symptoms–his DO hit all at once. I never know what I’m going to get once he comes out of his room. Uusally it’s not good. Sometimes it’s downright terrifying. It has been such an incredibly difficult time for all of us. I’ll hold you in my prayers, and would appreciate prayers for our family also as we journey beside you in this most difficult of journeys. As Eva said, God made you the way you are and you are special to Him. Hugs from someone who totally understands where you’re coming from, but on the other end of it as the caregiver.

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