‘Tis the Season …

                                                                             Shopping Season is finally here!

“I can’t help it! … I’m a people-pleaser!”

Now, for many bipolars, this is a very touch-and-go time of year. I have been guilty of pulling out the plastic too many times on too many occasions such as this. I am impulsive … not uncommon with us … I can’t help it! … I’m a people-pleaser! … another common trait … I get incredibly excited, spend many sleepless nights as Christmas draws near                                                                                  … yet another all-too-familiar trait.

Perfect case in point: I am breathing heavily, my chest is tight even as I write about this season and prepare to head out for some shopping when I’m through.

I watched the news on Black Friday (in horror, may I add) as hundreds of customers went bonkers running one another down to grab whatever, wherever, as long it said Early Bird special or some other clue to its exclusivity …

There is NO WAY I, with the personality I’ve detailed, could have handled that madness!

Fortunately, l live in Salisbury, North Carolina. We have a fabulous downtown area!

I’ve timed my shopping today around my medicine—the full cocktail will be taken just before I leave home.

Some of my pills are timed-release and I can take right before I leave home. However, one (in particular) is not:

My anxiety drug!

I took it right before I had my prayer … which was just before I sat down to blog … And, if you can believe it, in the short time between the start of this entry and now, my chest has loosened, my breathing is easier…


I’ll take the Lorazepam as I am leaving or in the car on the way. That’ll make it easier to focus.

My anti-depressant has to be on the scene as well. If not, I could become suddenly and causelessly sad … then I won’t come away with the “perfect gift.”

My Lithium is timed-release and helps keep me on an even keel …

As for my Lamactol … not really sure why I take that one … Need to ask Dr. Barrier about it.

Dr. Barrier was a pharmacist before he was a doctor … graduated with the highest distinctions. Good thing … these are all mind-altering drugs … nothing to take lightly …

okay, Lee Ann, STOP!

(Having a psychotic bipolar mind, I go through so much to do so little.)

Back to square one.

I am preparing for some holiday shopping this afternoon … family and some very close friends.

God must have had so much faith in me, my strength, my endless faith in Him to create me as He did. I DO have the biggest heart … swollen with love for so many friends, family, church family, afflicted patients and—most of all—God, our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit who makes our heart His home.

Love to you all …


7 thoughts on “‘Tis the Season …

  1. Mary says:

    Shopping is both a pain and can be so much fun… I have a love/hate relationship with it as well, though without the extremes of mood you describe. It seemed to me, reading this, that your emotions are normal… just really, really intensified.
    Thanks so much for sharing some insight into your paradigm, and allowing us a glimpse of your world.
    Take care, and have a very Merry Christmas.

  2. leeannjefferies says:

    Thanks Mary! I DO have some common symptoms but like you say, mine are much more intense.
    So …
    you are correct! My anxiety seems to be out of control, especially this time of year.
    I hope you will continue to read my blog and discover even more the life I lead.
    Have a wonderful week!
    Lee Ann

  3. Celeste Vaughan says:

    Great post Leann! I love your candid approach and transparency. I’m quite sure the Christmas season makes us all wish we could reach for a Lorazepam…bipolar or not! Hope you have a very blessed Christmas!

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