Operation Overload

December 21 and counting down!

Kenny, Melissa, Justin, and Kristie will be here tomorrow … Maddie Lee’s already with me. I’ve had her all week while Kristie’s in Atlanta for work.

Tonight I have an overload of anxiety. I’m stressed to the point I don’t know what I am doing. I can really cook but, at this moment, I have a cake in the oven that I know is not right!

Don’t ask me how much flour is in that thing; I don’t know.

By this time, I should have so much more done …

Typical, just typical.

When the neurotransmitters in my mind get scrambled like this, eventually … well … I blow a fuse. All this activity, feeling so much is expected of me, it takes me to another level. I pray (it seems without ceasing) that God will offer some relief.

It goes so fast; I can’t think clearly … it’s hurtful.

Ironically enough, we are celebrating right now and, in my heart of hearts, I do not believe God wants me like this now.

I do take comfort in knowing this is the way God said Lee Ann was going to be. God said for Lee Ann to witness to others for Him.  God said for Lee Ann to spread the word about mental illness and what it means to have such a debilitating psychotic disorder.

SO … Guess What???

That is exactly what I intend to do! I’m created like this for a mighty good reason.

With all my various eccentric and hurtful symptoms, this is how I roll …

Much Love

And Happy Birthday Jesus!

Until next time ….

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