Resolutions: To Make ’em or to Break ’em …

Happy New Year, all!  (or, at least let’s hope so!)

There is one major emotion, one “fault”, I am subject to more than all the others: Anger. In some cases, rage. Given the right situation, I will snap like a fresh green bean!

This is the one thing I have struggled to control over everything else. I’d love to eliminate it completely but, hard as I try, I can’t. Anger happens. Fury ensues.

I’m going to reiterate: I am not walking around two fries short of a Happy Meal! Oh no, that is noooot me! I am more than astute to my surroundings. So, all it takes is one wrong thing at the wrong time and KABLOOEY!

Anti-anxiety medication helps with this, along with the particular anti-depressant I am on and, of course, my Lithium and Lamactol.

I once ran into a woman who would have made a preacher cuss! I mean, it was bad … really bad. She had hurt someone in my life that NOBODY hurts … my daughter Kristie!

Before I could even think I was in her face hollering! I know she must have felt my breath all over her!

My hands clinched up into tight little balls. I said, “You are a ­­­­______ to me today, you will be a ______  to me tomorrow and you will be a _____ to me twenty years from now!!” (yep, I did it)

She replied, “I know how you feel, Lee Ann,” to which I replied “Get out of my way!

I rushed past her and proceeded to my car. I drove to Dr. Barrier’s office … no appointment … no control … but I knew I needed some help.

I got it from Dr. Barrier.

My bipolar mind can be and is a hot mess! I (and everyone around me) live with a bizarre  range of emotions … normally with no “heads up” whatsoever.

I HAVE found that I actually do okay without any “heads up,” as long as I have my head down talking to my Heavenly Father throughout the day, every day.

And while I’d love to set New Year’s resolutions this year:

1)    I wouldn’t remember them

2)    My mind is what it is

So I figure I should just concentrate on the things that matter:

1)    I want God, Ken, Kenny, Kristie, Melissa, Maddie Lee, and Justin to be proud of me … just as I am; the way God created me

2)    Loving all my friends!

3)    Serving God to the very best of my ability

No-brainers and easy to keep!

Much Love …


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