Just when you thought you’d seen it all …

Doctors across the globe … (Yes. Even Dr. Barrier) have emphasized the importance—the necessity—of regular exercise.

I have done it all.  Curves, The YMCA for 16 years, trainers … everything but swinging from the light fixtures.

We have a pool in our backyard now, so in the spring and summer we usually get enough movement playin’ around back there.

But, when I can’t get my exercise in the pool, I LOVE to go for walks! 

Talk about de-stressing!

I so enjoy the birds, traffic, church bells … Fabulous!

Sooo, I was strolling along on a public sidewalk one cold winter’s day when, suddenly, terror saturated every cell in my body. I looked up from my strolling feet to see—not more than a few feet in front of me—some fruitcake standing right there with the sweetest cow! 

Well, the fruitcake had a shotgun in one hand and, before I could open my mouth … BAM!!!!!

… that poor sweet cow fell to the ground!

Well, I’ll tell ya, I took off like a bat out of you know where, but I wasn’t running from the scene I was running toward it! Oh, yeah; you betcha. I marched myself right up to that fruitcake of a man! He was armed with a shotgun, I was armed with my car keys, but not for one minute did that stop me!

Nothing made a hill of beans difference.

(Ken has always been scared to death I was going to get shot one day. So far so good.)

Smoke was still bellowing out of the crazy shotgun when I reached the man … but, believe me when I tell you, it didn’t begin to compare with the smoke coming out of my blue eyes!

I set my hands firmly on my hips.

“Have you lost your mind??? Killing a farm animal a few feet from a public sidewalk???” I shook my head. “Barbaric! Simply barbaric!”

Food Lion has ground beef on sale every week for 99 cents a pound with your MVP card …

… I was terrorized.

As I returned to the sidewalk, I whipped my neck around to face him again, gave a look that said “die!” and tossed over my shoulder, “Enjoy your meatloaf!”

During the whole ordeal, the fruitcake never said much more than, “Oh com’on ma’am,” to which I miiight have I replied, “Oh, don’t you dare ‘Com’on ma’am’ me!”

Oooh, I was on a roll …

When it was all said and done, what was left of me drove home and, needless to say, took a Lorazepam.

I laid down for a while.

I needed to rest from distressing.

Like many bipolars, I can go from zero to sixty (and higher) not in three seconds … oh no, we do it instantly. If you’re ever around to experience it, you’ll probably find yourself trying to remember exactly when the acceleration began in the first place.

Oh well, another day, another over-the-top hot mess!

You just never know!

Until next time

Much love …


4 thoughts on “Just when you thought you’d seen it all …

  1. Flea says:

    Im looking at the fruit cake picture and, like Eva Marie, thinking this is a dream. How on earth does fruitcake shoot a gun?!? Took me a second … But I’ve seen that roundhouse kick bipolar freak out first hand. Terrifying. Learning to face into and diffuse it took about ten years, but totally worth it for the relationship.

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