Not Your Average Bear

Question: Are there any blogs you subscribe to, besides mine? Well, I do. And one thing I’ve noticed about them is that they are consistent … there is continuity within their pages. They look good and sound, what I call, “normal.” There are guidelines and a clear topical formula.

I love reading a good blog. And I love being able to expect a certain thing from each of them at a certain and specific time.

Well, let me just tell you, I couldn’t write a blog like that for all the tea in China.

With me, the rules change a little.

And the rules are there ARE no rules.

I was interviewed by a state psychiatrist here in North Carolina once. Ken had to sit in with me, due to the difficulty the session brought. A one hour block of time turned into two, and one of the most painful, gut-wrenching sessions I have ever been a part of.

The state psychiatrist was a woman with a kind face. I just loved her, despite her evaluation. I could see my own pain reflected in her eyes as we spoke.

She asked Ken, “What time does Lee Ann get up in the morning?”

“No particular time,” he replied. “Alarm clocks make her anxious. So she just wakes up when her mind says she has had enough rest.”

He continued, “She does what makes her happy … But no more.”

Ken (God love him) rubbed my back as he spoke. I was slumped over in my chair, crying my head off … telling the two of them that life is too hard … can’t do it … sick … I am so sick.

My precious husband said, “it’s okay, Scooter. It’s okay.” (Scooter is the endearing nickname he’s given me.)

I took my fist over my head, slammed the poor woman’s desk, and screamed, “No it’s NOT OKAY! IT’S NOT OKAY TO BE THIS SICK!!”

When the session was over, the sweet doctor came around her desk, hugged me, and asked Ken if he would mind her walking with me to the car.

“Of course you can,” he replied.

You’d have thought I was a newborn baby the way she put me in my seat! With her arms still wrapped around me, she said, “You don’t worry about a thing. I am going to take care of you.”

And she did.

Now back to square one and the message of today’s entry: I cannot be consistent or continuous … but I will do my best for you.

You have to remember, I am not your average bear. It’s hard to make an apple into an orange! Sometimes it’s best just not to try.

I pray God will enable my mind to function a little less chaotically as I try to deliver future blogs on a (more) timely, frequent basis.

Please pray for me …

I’m gonna need it.

Until next time, much love …


7 thoughts on “Not Your Average Bear

  1. Kathy Purdy says:

    Dear Lee Ann,

    I cannot begin to tell you how much I appreciate your transparency in sharing your heart and struggles with us. Please continue to write and I will continue to read and to pray with you.
    Love in Christ,

  2. Christina says:

    I can appreciate your feelings and love your honesty. I say there are no rules to blogging and it doesnt really matter what everyone else does. Personally I love different topics and sparatic thoughts…but I am probably not your average bear either 😉 I just started reading but I havent stopped yet!! If everyone was the same this world would be pretty boring indeed!

  3. Debbie Burgett says:

    Well, I have been scared to death to start a blog (yet wanting to!) because of all the overwhelming info out there about what to do, what not to do, what to say, what not to say, how to set it up, how not to set it up …. AAAaaarrrgggghhh!!!

    Not knowing how to do it “right” was paralyzing me.

    Then I stumbled on your blog. Sweet, simple, transparent and assuring me that even “no rules” can be the rule. Okay. I can do that.

    Now I’m excited to get started! Thank you!

    Love, Debbie

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