For the past two weeks, I’ve been in seclusion with that silly depression! Well, I finally shook it off and returned to the world of the living … God decided I’ve had enough pain from this nasty stuff to last me a lifetime …
I saw a movie over the weekend. My daughter insisted I watch it … A Bipolar guy, released from an institution, entered a dance contest and helped his dad win a bet with his dancing score. Oh sure, he had more than his share of ups and downs, tore his parents’ house up, drove his psychiatrist up the wall … it reminded me of when I signed my contract with The Ford Modeling Agency. The struggle through opposition of it all.
Now, if you don’t think it took guts, courage and, at times I think, stupidity to fly to New York from Salisbury, North Carolina, you are sadly mistaken. Not only was I a human basketcase but I was setting myself up for a failure which could have put me over the edge.
BUT my Bipolar really took over … I got dressed that morning in a black pantsuit … dressed to the nines … perfect hair and makeup. Hailed a cab, told the driver the address. Swallowed hard when I saw that brass plate on the building that read The Ford Modeling Agency!
I said my final prayer … pushed the call button at the door and said, “This is Lee Ann Jefferies for Patty Sicular.”
Standing straight .. full of confidence … sparking blue eyes and a smile no plastic surgeon could wipe off!!
Patty looked at me … requested a contract in a manila envelope … and away we went!!!
Lunch: New York style. And before it was over, I WAS A FORD MODEL!
So what’s my point? It is that Bipolars live in their head … I take meds, I have limitations, but Bipolar Disorder doesn’t control me! More accurately, I don’t LET it. I don’t let it decide what I will be, where I will go, what I will do. Bipolar Disorder does not own my future. God does. The nasty illness may live in my brain but GOD lives in my heart … nothing can supercede that!!
Get it?? Good. 🙂
Until next time … Lee Ann