I’ve managed to coast along for brief periods of time but before long I crash and burn, every single time.
Some of us just won’t take any medicine that is mind altering … any form of tranquilizer … Lithium (which is my main drug) … antipsychotic medication … meds to take the edge off of OCDs … anti-depressants …
There were times I took the strongest psychiatric drugs that were available at the time—Thorazine and Stelazine—both anti-psychotic meds … along with a strong tranquilizer. I’ve been hospitalized countless times to regulate my medicine.
After all that, I’d get home and forget to take the stuff!!
It ain’t pretty.
Since the day I was diagnosed with Bipolar I, I have NEVER, NEVER had any doctor take me off of my meds.
And I don’t take just one, either! Right now I take four.
Does this mean I like taking my meds? Well, let’s see … lithium and Lamictol tend to make me gain weight. Fluoxetine is for my OCD and can make me feel drowsy … Lorazepam is for anxiety and takes me down … QUICKLY.
Get this: no OCD meds and I am convinced I am dying … tumors everywhere. Try living with that! Not to mention trying to keep my mind on an even keel without any buffer.
One thing I’m sure of: I would be in the hospital in no time without them.
For that reason alone, I’ve found a doctor I trust and I do what he tells me.
I know so many Bipolars who simply will not go to the doctor or take medicine. They just do not want to relent … they have too much pride … they’re in denial … whatever their reason, they won’t take their pills!!
But they need to realize what they are jeopardizing!
I have voices in my head BUT, like I said, my medicine helps me control the horrible illness in my brain.
A lot of patients and their families just don’t understand: just as without antibiotics, an infection can travel rampant through the body—even leading to death—without proper medication, their mind could become so wild, so dangerous, it could lead to their demise.
Life is so much easier with my medicine. Nothing will take my symptoms away … I have had many “close calls” … BUT when I take my medicine regularly, my symptoms are manageable and I can live a happier life.
The edge is taken off.
I tell Bipolars ALL the time: go to the doctor, take your medicine. Do it for yourself. Do it for your loved ones! I treat my meds like an American Express card—I never leave home without them! Take ‘em everywhere I go!
I will do anything within my power to live a happy, productive life … one that God will be proud of me for.
For He knows the daily battle I face.