“Dr. Barrier, you know what your day holds each morning when you wake up. You have a schedule to follow and guess what? You can follow it! I can’t say that about my life!”
Each morning, as I open my blue eyes, I pray.
Normally, my prayers are all over the place. Most days the word focus is not in my vocab.
I’ll start at one task … forget all about it.
Start another … forget again …
You get the idea.
Any single thing can turn my world upside down and inside out. I can invent problems, fears, worry in my head, over anything and everything …
Within moments, I’m crying my eyes out!!!
Sometimes, it’s my story that gets me “off track.”
Will I ever get my story out there.
Happened to me one recent afternoon, as I poked in and out of a few of the artsy stores and gift shops in our downtown district. Couldn’t stop thinking about it. My story and how badly I want to get it out there.
To end the stigma.
To let the others know they’re not alone.
To save a life …
Lord help me!
No, I just cannot deal with this right now. Gotta switch gears …
I have lost my car keys.
Oh yeah. This kinda thing happens to me all the time. Some days, it can take hours to find my keys, depending on how long my thoughts wandered.
Of course, then there are the times my thoughts become more paranoid …
What’s that pain in my side … what does it mean??
And then there’s the most dangerous of all. The one I fear the most.
Otherwise known as, My Dark Hole.
Depression robs countless people of their lives, every day.
This breaks my heart … that this is how so many live.
I was talking to a friend on the phone last week. It had been a rough day, but it was starting to get better. It felt good to just have someone listen, and reassure me.
“Life is truly a box of chocolates,” I told her, “I never know if I’m gonna get smooth, crunchy, nutty, or one of those pieces that always gets left for last.”
The one thing I do know is I have never had anything out of that box that God did not help me chew …
My friend laughed. “I bet that’ll be the title of your next blog: Life Is Like a Box of Chocolates.”
Yes … I bet it will be, too. 😉