To Swallow, or Not to Swallow

meds questionOver and over again, I have faced this decision …

Over and over again.

I have lost control … once again!

Now, I have had as much experience as the next Bipolar with medication experimentation … drug cocktails … Well-meaning doctors trying to find just the right combination.

The happy-medium that can quell the symptoms and still be tolerated.

When I say “tolerate,” I’m not talking your run-of-the-mill side effects.

I’m talkin’ about an intolerable aftermath!

Many times, I found myself (literally found myself, because sometimes I was too out of control to fully know what was going on) hospital bound when the trials were more like trial and errors.

Anti-psychotic meds are difficult for me but, with my illness, they are not optional.

One things for certain, by and large, patients with a mental illness, MUST take their meds!

I recently was told about one such young woman who would not take her medication. She ended up terrorizing neighbors until, eventually, she had an episode that led to her incarceration.

“Oh, I am so sorry to hear that …” I said.

Got a quick reply:

Don’t be! NOW she takes her medicine!”

Last night, 60 Minutes had a segment on the mentally ill. Ken wanted me to watch it (per usual). A young boy with schizophrenia was interviewed. His particular cocktail was comprised of approximately five drugs (two of which, I take).

This brave young man was asked, “Are you ever tempted to stop taking your pills due to the side effects?

“NO!” he said. “The effects are no fun but they cannot compare with the illness.”

NO treatment, NO meds = DISASTER, right around the corner.

Remember, mental illness is invisible. So how in this world do doctors come to a diagnosis?

In a New York minute, that’s how! Off the hook behavior that can’t be denied.

I should know. I was as off the chain as they come. There was NO doubt I had a SERIOUS problem … my actions could have easily led to my demise … out of nowhere, it could have all ended.

The fight over, but lost.

e card meds 2There are countless young people and older people on the streets, in the prison system right now who need treatment, medication, and families who love them.

If you know someone fighting the battle, DON’T EVER GIVE UP!!! God doesn’t!

He understands mental illness the same way He gets everything! We are ALL children of God and He died for each of us and each of our afflictions!!!

In closing …


(On that note, I gotta go take mine … )

Until next time …


One thought on “To Swallow, or Not to Swallow

  1. ldm4hk says:

    LeeAnn, as someone with bipolar, a big part of my testimony to others is to take meds daily. I have had so many people tell me to pray for healing that these meds are destructive long term, which they are. They can really damage your liver but not taking them is even more destructive and people don’t realize that. God is definitely a God of healing, and I have received a lot of healing from Him. I really am blessed in my walk with bipolar, but I have prayed and told God that I need to be a testimony in this area to others because thinking I am well enough and not taking meds is the easy destructive answer for many. Fighting the fight and walking it daily shows others that they can do it too! Thank you for your transparency, Faith and obedience in sharing!

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